Back to School, Back to Normal

Sometimes, it’s hard to put into words all the things we have to deal with and yes I disappeared from my blog for a little while, I had a lot to say but no way of saying it, a writers block perhaps? Well, things are in some ways back to normal. Girl has returned to school and Boy is absolutely loving being back to routine and having one-on-one time with mummy. Don’t get me wrong, Boy absolutely loves being with his sister and was besides himself when she went back to school but he is a very different boy in her company.

I learned a couple of things over the school holidays. Firstly, I learned that Boy doesn’t feel ‘safe’ yet. We went away twice over the holidays and both times Boy reacted badly, he was sullen, moody, mean and altogether completely different to my adorable little monster. He would not let me help him with anything, would reject me at any opportunity and was defiant over every little thing, he also made noises not dissimilar to Girl’s tics which I found very interesting.

The second thing I learned was that Girl’s biggest worry is school, not that she told me but she has also been a completely different child. She has been pleasant, polite, amenable and the tics and bed-wetting completely disappeared, the bed wetting has started again after only a week at school. In fact the only time she has been anywhere near her usual anxious self was when I took her to London which she enjoyed but found slightly stressful.

The third thing I learned was that I am not even nearly ready for college. I was excited about going but after mulling it over and over and over I realised I just couldn’t do it this year. I am disappointed but I know it’s the right thing for my kids and frankly for my marriage. I am still recovering from depression, still seeing a counsellor and I still get points where I feel like just running a mile, just to have a break from everything. Putting the extra pressure of completing a very difficult course in a year was just too much. Some people have found my decision hard to understand but I know it was the right thing to do.