The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back…

Just as predicted Girl is back to the unwanted behaviour. Last Thursday we (or should say I) spoke to her about her grandfathers cancer. I had to mentally prepare myself for it first and to be honest I felt like I didn’t know enough about cancer to answer the questions she may ask or even how much to tell her so I Googled the subject of how to talk to children about cancer first and found a good article by Macmillan Cancer Support (link below).

I was all set to tell her on the Wednesday evening but after reading the article I decided that in the morning would be better so she didn’t lie in bed thinking about it, that in the morning we would share a bath so there were no distractions or… well…escaping. In the bath she would have no choice but to listen.

Now  I wasn’t sure she would understand and I don’t know if it was an age thing and she did liken it to her old friend Mary passing earlier in the year but two minutes later after getting out of the bath she was skipping around, singing and dancing. She didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered.

We met with her birth grandfather and her sisters for a meal on the next day, Friday. Girl was quiet throughout the meal, would barely speak to anyone, infact I had to remind her a few times that people were talking to her and it was rude to just ignore them. She spent a good proportion of the evening lolling all over me or pretending to sleep on the bench seat. In my opinion not really appropriate restaurant behaviour but rather that than running round a packed restaurant (surely it isn’t just me that thinks that kids should be under control in a restaurant?).

It ended up being quite a late night due to the very poor service (Frankie & Bennies I am naming and shaming you) but she seemed quite happy on the way home playing silly games. She loves to equate how much she loves us by supermarket distances. I told her that I loved her to the moon and back she replied that she loved daddy to Asda and back and me to Sainsburys and back. It’s our little in family joke that we have been doing for quite a while. I guess when you are three a trip to Asda does seem quite far and Sainsurys even further and it just continued from then!

The very next morning though, we had a lot of very bad behaviour, kicking her brother, squabbling, spitefulness. OK so we get a lot of this anyway but this was different, more intense and she was reduced to tears by the slightest thing. I had been planning on taking her to a baby shower and when she wasn’t behaving I told her she could not come with me. When she continued to misbehave I told her she could not go to the cinema with her Aunty. Even more bad behaviour and I pulled her treat of going to work with daddy. All these things were my downfall. I know that consequences do not work and to also not follow through just makes me out for a fool. I ended up taking her to the Baby shower of her Godmother simply because I felt the kids needed a few hours separation and the baby shower would be calming. Well it was but she also sat with a sulky scowl on her face throughout the whole party.

Talking To Children About Cancer by Macmillan Cancer Support