You’re getting two posts from me today, I decided to split the two as they are quite different.
After my blog post Is Post Adoption Support Non-Existent? I did a lot of thinking. I had a bit of feedback about the post, a lot of support and some suggested maybe I should pay for a private consultation. It was something I had been humming and ahhing over anyway, friends had success with getting a diagnosis and/or support for their children this way.
I emailed a lovely doctor about my concerns and had a good chat with her but if I am honest it really niggles me having to pay money that we can’t really afford because we are being consistently failed by so called professionals. The private paediatrician suggested that if we go ahead with her service to wait until September when Girl returns to school so she can consult with them. I had more or less decided that this was the way to go, until yesterday.
It was with a weary heart that I went to see yet another paediatrician about Boy’s issues. This was the third person we had gone through all the different issues with. She told me that by reading what the other two had written she would have been convinced that Boy had ASD. On meeting him however she decided it wasn’t so clear cut so therefore I could decide what services we should use and what our path should be, she would go with my instincts, that she would refer us for whatever we wanted.
I was momentarily confused. Had I heard her correctly? This was not anything I had experienced with Girl. We decided together that Boy should be assessed at nursery in a couple of months when he has settled down to his new three full day routine. That in the meantime she would speak to Girl’s family therapist about assessing Boy (which she did within an hour) and would I also like to see the Health Visitor periodically to assess behaviour and maybe get a referral to a Behavioural Support group? She decided that Boy’s pains were probably psychosomatic which we had already worked out and she spent some time talking about stress in-utero having a major impact on adopted children. She remarked on Boy’s behaviour, that he looked sad, how shy he was, she talked about attachment and his experience in foster care. As I left she reminded me that if I wanted to change my mind or bring things forward just to phone her. Oh she was good.
When I got home I told The Hubster about the extraordinary (in my experience) consultation and he immediately got on the phone and asked whether she could assess Girl too. She said that this made sense. So, I am feeling quietly positive.