A Family Divided

As a family we have always enjoyed going out, even before the kids I enjoyed going out with my husband; walks, seaside, museums, cities, we had a thirst to discover the world and new places. It’s becoming increasingly apparent though that one of our family hates going out with a passion, unless it’s soft play (urgh) or a theme park (expensive).

I don’t know how we fit this need for staying at home into our family life without dividing the family. Even when we weren’t going far we always enjoyed making the most of the local area, particularly Girl, she loves nothing more than a walk in the woods, den building, dam building, puddle sploshing, sledging, football and a picnic or cafe for lunch. There are local places that are firm favourites that she will visit again and again and again. Unfortunately all the places that Girl likes, Boy hates. To take Girl to these places we either all go together and listen to boy having tantrums and whinging about going home or just one of us takes her out or the alternative is that we leave Boy with grandparents. All of these options are unsatisfactory. Boy needs our time as much as Girl and I think it’s important to do things as a family.

Boy enjoying his scooterI am hoping that as Boy gets older there will be more room for negotiation but at the minute it feels that the older he gets the more adamant he is about the things he is willing  to do or not to. This morning I have tried taking him out with no pressure of Girl bossing him around, it’s a beautiful sunny day and Boy seemed to be enjoying himself with his scooter but after 10 minutes the tantrum arrived so we came home, I am just thankful that it was just him and me, it always breaks my heart to cut short a walk when Girl is with us, try as we might there is no cajoling Boy into enjoying himself outdoors and his mood spoils the mood for Girl even if we do stay.

One Response to A Family Divided

  • Dan says:

    I have the same issue. I only have 1, a boy, but it doesn’t matter whether it’s Tesco or Toys’r’Us, a party or a park, fifteen minutes is about the limit before he remembers he’d rather be at home. Toy shopping for him will result in a snap decision followed by a request to go home. A chore like grocery shopping will result in “playful” behaviour until we reach a till and he sees an end to his exile.

    The only trips out he sees as tolerable are grandparents, despite one set of those being a 3 hour journey away.

    We’ve tried to structure our weekends around Saturday being a hellish day of getting things done and Sunday a peaceful day of fun, but it can’t always happen like that.

    It isn’t too tough. Our son’s disruptive behaviour includes pretending not to hear instructions, incessant banal conversation, and play fighting, which at age 6 is easy to manage – you seem to deal with much worse. If you ever get any insights into a root cause with yours, please share. We’d love some inspiration. A vague desire for stability is the best we can guess.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Don't forget to join my Facebook Page for the latest post updates and you'll find a bit more too like topical news stories!
LA Local Authority
SW Social Woker
PASW Post Adoption Social Worker
SALT Speech & Language Therapy
CP Community Paediatrician
Recent Comments
Follow on Bloglovin
TOTS 100 - UK Parent Blogs

Find Me @ BritMums
Adoption Badge photo BADGE7_zps59df311c.jpg

Tots100 Slow Blogging