I don’t heart weekends. I don’t absolutely loathe them but they are not the best days of the week. I must be the only person on the planet that looks forward to Monday morning when life is easier.
Life has been pretty relaxed and easy through the school holidays but two weekends back to school and we are back to Little Miss Attitude. Girl has woken up today in her usual Saturday morning mood of can’t do, won’t do, don’t like, glass half empty attitude that we really haven’t seen much of lately. She is unco-operative and difficult. Her games have involved fighting and brandishing weapons. Her response to every thing we have done is ’I don’t want to’ or to have a big sulk.
We are back to ‘how do we make our little girl happy? and trying to second guess every decision we make. Tonight’s decision goes as such; Girl is tired (she even said so) but wants to stay up late and watch Strictly, it’s good mummy time but if she is tired she can be difficult and it will likely end in tears and then she will also be tired tomorrow but on the other hand, as I said, it’s good mummy time. We can share some chocolates and banana milkshake and create some good memories. I remember staying up with my mum when I was little and having treats and it warms the heart to think of it. I want that for my little girl too.
I can see she is trying to be good but she just can’t help herself. So I don’t heart weekends but I do heart my kids and I am going to go with a bit of indulgence and tongue biting if it all goes horribly wrong.
Every now and again strategies for coping with behaviour that have worked for a while cease to have any effect and we are reaching that point in time. Our PASW has been on annual leave for a while (how do social workers get so much leave?) and has been unavailable to talk to and honestly? It’s been a difficult few weeks, hence the lack of posts, in fact I have started to write a few but struggled to put my thougts into words. We have had a number of meltdowns with many different reasons. I can only say that this is a difficult time of year, excitement over impending holidys, anxiety over saying goodbye to loved teachers, facing new challenges, new teachers, new environments, everything that really we should be avoiding. Girl’s head must be in turmoil.
Tonight we announced to Girl that she would not be attending her last day of school tomorrow and immediately it was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. We witnessed Girl play nicely with toys, she was calm and considered, she listened and took on board suggestions about the game she was playing with her teddies and cars. This is unusual behaviour to say the least. It may have helped that Boy went to bed early because he is under the weather but she played so pleasantly that we gave her an extra hour before sending her to bed. It was lovely, a rare moment to be relished but definitely something so set the cogs whirring after such a difficult few weeks.
Girl is managing to keep her temper under control and I am very proud of her for that, one tiny little outburst in the past week but I have this theory. The more she is reigning in her temper the worse the tics are getting, it’s almost like a different release for what she is feeling, we are seeing new and quite specific tics being added all the time to the palilalia and zuzzing noises and I can’t help but tell her what she is doing, in the hope that she can try and take some control of them. She has no idea what she is doing of course and I know she can’t help it but I worry that people or more specifically her friends at school are going to start noticing because the tics are getting odder, more frequent and are no longer confined to noises.
Girl’s latest and most noticeable tics include repeatedly bobbing her tongue out very quickly like a snake while she is talking (and actually while she is being quiet too) and yesterday she started clicking too. I am filled with angst. On top of this the conversations are getting harder and harder, she just cannot process anything we tell her and it is frustrating to say the least.
Yesterday in the car on the way home from school I told her that a little boy from her class wanted to invite her round to play on Thursday, we ascertained that today was Monday and I got her to go slowly through the days of the week, she said Monday, Tuesday, Friday, so I got her to think about it and she did it correctly, because she can do these things but often says the first thing that comes into her head. I then repeated back to her slowly ‘so today is Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday and then you can play at your friend’s house.’ Thirty seconds later, ‘Mummy, what day is it today?’ (I count quickly to ten in my head and try to hold in an exasperated sigh) ‘OK Girl, we already worked out what day it is so have a think about what we just talked about and tell me what day you think it is?’. ‘Thursday’ came the reply. Start over. This is pretty much a typical conversation and I find it quite difficult to cope with them, I can’t work out how to get her to process what is being told to her and keep it in.
Along with the tics we are seeing a rise in controlling, demanding and bossy behaviour and feel like the time-bomb is close to explosion but you know what? I know when it comes we will cope and that is definitely something to be positive about, no matter how bad meltdown is with a united front we get through it.