Adoptive Mummy

Despite our best efforts some days can just turn (sort of) sour. Today was Post Adoption Family Day, we were to meet at 2pm and when I looked at the the website for the venue I realised it would be a good place to try out our fab new bike trailer so this morning I packed a picnic, The Hubster did a bit of maintenance on our rusty old bikes, loaded the car and we set off to get a few hours of fun in before we met up with the other families, it would fill the day perfectly.

The morning went pretty well, we absolutely loved cycling round the park and finding a beautiful spot for a picnic. I have not been on a bike for some years and was a little apprehensive but soon I was fighting the urge to shout yee-haw in over-excitement every time we went down a hill. Girl had her own bike with her and I was so proud of how well she coped with keeping up and not moaning too much when it was uphill, I did my best therapeutic mummy bit of reassuring her that she wouldn’t get left behind, that we could walk whenever she needed to. OK, I admit this was for my own benefit too, I couldn’t do the slight gradients either but I do know that usually having to put a little effort in can make Girl very tetchy and grumpy.

We spent about four to five hours at the park, not cycling all the time, there were lots of other things to do and explore, including meeting with the other families and we had a lovely time but as soon as we got in the car…boom, the explosion that has been simmering away recently came. A bike helmet was thrown at me, a few blows rained on my arms along with pinching, scratching, kicking the car interior and some rude and disrespectful behaviour and I have a feeling it was mostly through exhaustion from our day, she couldn’t be both tired and well-behaved, I think it takes a lot of effort for Girl to keep her temper under control. We managed the meltdown quickly and moved on, we talked about it a little when we got home. However, both of my kids were in awful moods tonight, neither of them would eat their dinner, Girl cried over a lot of nothings, Boy shouted ‘No’. A lot.

So how do we manage this? We can’t stay in the house because it causes meltdowns and chaos and if we go out we can’t do too much because of tiredness. Whenever we go out we get some pretty difficult behaviour afterwards but on the other hand at least we haven’t had difficult behaviour all day. I am exhausted myself from doing too much all the time so I can’t imagine how the kids are feeling and I personally would love nothing more than a day in the house doing nothing much, we managed half a day last weekend but really it was like an endurance test.

I was chatting to one of the Post Adoption social workers about having to go out every weekend and she said it was surprisingly common among adopted families, that the kids somehow needed to be kept entertained more than regular families. Well, tomorrow I have arranged for my parents to have the kids, we are having a new settee delivered and the thought of having to cope with that and keep the kids in-check was just too much for my brain to compute. So even if I just end up catching up with the housework that is getting neglected with all our days out it will be something of a rest.

I still enjoyed my day today, despite the iffy end, the adrenaline from cycling was enough to keep my spirits up although my body has completely seized up!